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Don’t forget your service workers and wait staff for tips at Christmas!! A job I couldn’t do, and i love seeing their faces at the tips. They. Often pay it forward. Just. Fucking. Do. It.. ❤️
Relationships aren’t math. Treating someone nicely half the time does not cancel out treating them poorly the other half.
for the record, ‘not feeling anything’ is a valid and not unusual response to trauma or grief
so if you feel empty and devoid of feeling, it’s not because you’re a cold and uncaring person.
Sometimes, not feeling anything is the only way you can cope.
Be prepared for a delayed reaction, too. It’s very common to be totally calm during a crisis, and then days or weeks (or years) later suddenly get hit with a tidal wave of “HOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED.”
Sometimes your mind waits until it feels safe to start processing things emotionally. It’s a powerful survival strategy, but it can really blindside you, because just as you start to feel like things are okay, you’re overwhelmed by the realization of how not-okay things were before.
This may not happen, and that’s okay too. But it’s something to watch out for when your initial reaction is numbness.
MeWe DELETED!
Please share this post.
So last night whilst sat with my parents and boyfriend my phone rang, seems people can call you through MeWe. A random person I don’t know or have never chatted to decided he wanted to call me. This isn’t good! As bloggers we appreciate the anonymity of our private lives. I’ve deleted my account and suggest you do the same. Go to My Account and you’ll see delete. Daddy looked and there is NO way to disable that function.
Sticking with bdmslr!
Okay….within 5 minutes of posting my new account. I was warned the app is traceable and people can contact you via phone…. ugh. Sorry..delete..delete. ugh! Now what?!?
I’m wondering also if the person’s app is open on their phone and when they click pn the phone icon it rings up your phone… I should test this somehow interesting
Heads up if you’re using MeWe!!
Deleted
Good to know…this girl is on bdsmlr, same user name 😊
For those considering MeWe … this sobering, to say the least …
BOOST
Absolutely terrifying!
…nope, not for this girl
ᵉᴠᴱ❧
Effort, understanding, and Teaching. A lesson for Doms and Subs.
I wanted to share something about one of my stories. I see a lot of posts from subs who have been punished or are afraid of being punished for not being perfect, for not doing a task or play scene to perfection the first time they try them. I really get disappointed when I read these because it goes against everything I am as a Dom. The truth is what we see on Tumblr, FetLife, and in porn has been practiced, rehearsed, tried a few times, etc. When I have a new sub I don’t expect her to be perfect, ever, and I don’t expect her to do every task or rule without fail the first time, but here’s the catch, I don’t always, or even usually, punish for that.
I judge it on effort. That’s a huge word for me. Effort. That’s what I truly care about from my sub. Effort. Not perfection. Fail for me but try hard, safeword on me but try hard, yell red on me but try hard. If any of those happen I don’t punish, we stop what we are doing and we discuss it. We discuss how she can improve next time, or how I can lead her better next time, or how we can change a rule or task so she doesn’t feel like it’s a rule she’s going to just fail every time. If you are with a Dom that looks for reasons to punish, that sets up rules so you’re bound to fail, or one that punishes you for using a safword or calling red please seriously consider these as major red flags.
I’m gonna give one example. There’s a story i wrote that a lot of you have read about meeting a sub at the movies. In the story we met for the first time at the movies, I used a remote vibe/rabbit on her, played with her, made her cum in the middle of watching a movie. In the story we were meeting in person for the first time. This is an absolutely true story, we were meeting for the first time also. We however had talked on the phone, video chatted, and worked out details and consent for a month before meeting.
I met her in the parking lot in full day light and hugged her, we also kissed. There was a huge connection. She wore her dress with no undies as she’d been told. We bought tickets, popcorn, drinks, and sat down. We held hands, sat and just talked like it was a first or second date. When she agreed she was ready we started what was really her fantasy, to be played with in a theater by a stranger. I started running my hand up her thigh, I played with her for about five minutes. She was really into it, loving it and she was ready for the remote bullet to come out. As I brought it out and turned it on she panicked. She felt it was too loud and that someone would hear us. When I say panicked I mean panicked. Breathing fast, fear I her eyes as she looked around. She didn’t even have to use a safe word or call anything. I could see she was done.
Here’s the facts, I didn’t make her go farther, I didn’t even keep playing. I stopped it all. Held her hand, she wrapped her other arm around my arm too and she held on to me like she needed me as her rock. I just held her. Kissed her hand many times, assured her I was proud of her for trying so hard and that I was ecstatic to meet her finally. I didnt punish, I didn’t call her name’s, I didn’t continue and force the issue, we finished the movie and drinks and had an amazing time just learning more about each other, it was like any other first or second date.
After leaving the theater we went and sat in a car, talked about what happened, she was so relieved I wasn’t punishing her and was also relieved that I stopped it when I did. We went on to do this again a month later with great success and she loved the thought of cumming in a theater full of people. If I had abused my power and hurt her emotionally or physically that first meeting I would have never seen her again and she would go on to relive that terror she felt over and over.
The key here is consent, effort, discussion and understanding your partner. I do this all the time and some might consider me less of a Dom for that but to me those people are just assholes. A true Dom understands his sub, understands his scenes and understands when to punish and when to just teach. Teach them early and they’ll be that much better for you later. Lead by example Doms. You won’t be sorry.
BDSMLR
Comment on this post what you bdsmlr username is so we can mass follow everyone!
GREAT idea! I’ve been doing the “find and follow” thing as I see people post their bdsmlr usernames, but it’s been willy-nilly and I’ve missed a bunch of people. And when you’re on bdsmlr, the watchword is: be active! Post, reblog, like. If people see activity with your username (on the Liked list on a post from a blogger you’re already following, for example), they can hover over you in the Notes and press Follow. As of now, looks like 906 of you have found my blog, and I’ve found 350 of y’all. This weekend I’ll try to put in some work to find the rest of you and follow back. A community is a hard thing to kill. :)
Hermastersvoice.bdsmlr.com
little-kitten-lottie
